Just in case you were wondering?
There are days when I am amazing.
Truly.
The birds sing when I wake up. My lipstick stays on through my morning cereal and two power bars. My hair straightens itself. I eat broccoli and it doesn’t stick to my teeth. My children remember to call me and Buddy follows me wherever I go and sunlight dances off the wood floor and the living room looks like it stepped out of a blue and white magazine.
And then?
There are days when all that amazing leaves the building.
Have you ever had a day like that? A day full of awkward?
A moment where you wish you could push the reset button?
A moment when you felt like the world was looking at you in unison with a giant raised eyebrow?
Me?
I’ve lived a lifetime of moments just like that.
Two steps forward and one step back….
…wiping a little egg off my face along the way.
A day just like this.
Last week I attended the Haven conference.
It’s a conference for bloggers and influencers and creative people who like to make money online.
I was a speaker and a panelist and there was a booth for the new book with this picture blown up larger than life on a banner.
It was an amazing experience. I learned so much and met new friends and drank coffee and discussed how incredible it is to get to do what we do.
And it made me think of the very first Haven conference I ever attended.
I had just started blogging and I wanted to know everything.
I wanted to learn all about mysterious things like SEO and alt tags and social media and DFP and how to take pictures of eggs that looked like art. I heard about a conference called Haven where you could learn so much more about being a blogger. I couldn’t wait. I was so EXCITED about the conference and I bought my ticket and booked my room and got my hair highlighted and stocked up on red lipstick and took off for places unknown.
Solo.
All by myself without any peeps.
(total aside: if you ever plan on attending a blogging conference, do as I say, not as I did…peeps make everything so much better)
The first night of the conference started with a cocktail party for all the attendees.
I was ready.
I put on my new outfit, teased my highlighted hair to the sky, slipped on a new pair of oversized sparkly earrings that danced when I laughed and walked into a dark room filled with people I had never met before in my entire life. In my hands, I clutched a stack of brand-new business cards that I had printed on sheets I bought at Walmart that you ripped apart (still leaving the perforated edges) and desperately clung to them for reassurance.
Like they were the golden ticket.
Nervously, I walked up to the first table of bloggers I saw and introduced myself.
The bloggers looked me up and looked me down and asked me what the name of my blog was. Excitedly, I peeled a business card out of my sweaty palms and pointed to the website for Thistlewood Farms. I couldn’t believe it.
These were bloggers. Real, in-life bloggers. Just like me.
I knew this was going to be the beginning of something wonderful. I knew this was the part in the script where we were all going to hug and talk blogging and give each other tips and ideas and hold hands and become best friends forever.
Except.
Except it didn’t happen exactly like that.
The bloggers looked at my wilted, crumpled business card and shrugged and exchanged a look that spoke volumes. Then, with a half-hearted smile, they gave me one more cursory glance and looked over my head to see if someone more popular was around.
Truly.
And right then and there in the middle of that room standing all alone with laughter and conversation swirling all around me…
….I shrunk a little inside.
I paused, and stood there awkwardly for another moment as my hair and my outstretched business cards wilted just a little.
You got this, I told myself.
Don’t let them see you sweat.
I shook my head, braced my shoulders, clutched my hands….
and soldiered on.
I approached another group of beautiful people in beautiful outfits, laughing and talking and becoming instant best friends…
…and the same thing happened again.
And again. And again. And again.
Until my confidence was shattered.
Until my heart hurt.
Until I had blurred my laser-printed business cards with the sweat from my palms.
Until I wanted to take my earrings and my highlights…
…and run all the way home.
Instead, I gathered my tattered pride and my bedraggled hair and left the party with my head held high.
I finally made it to my hotel room, flung myself onto the bed and burst into tears.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This wasn’t what I envisioned. This wasn’t how I imagined my first foray into the world of blogging to end up.
Not even close.
Tears, streaming down my face, I dug in my purse for tissues and saw the message on my phone.
It was my family. They were calling to wish me luck and check on me and ask me about all my new friends and all the fun I was having.
*sigh*
The message made me cry harder. It made me wish I had ordered my business cards from a fancy online store. It made me wish my blog was funnier and brighter and different and more creative and…and…and….
….better.
Suddenly, I stopped mid pity party.
Why? Why was I worried about what they thought? Why was I worried about my blog being better or more creative or funnier or more than it was…..
….because I was there.
Me.
KariAnne.
I was in the house.
I was at the conference with my stories and my waving hands and my giggle and my joy.
And me, myself and I were better than any blog post could ever hope to be.
So I dried my tears and washed my face and went to bed. The next day I marched myself downstairs with a sparkling set of flip flops and a new attitude….
….and then I laughed and danced and listened and storied my way through the conference.
Maybe it was the flip flops.
Maybe it was the new perspective.
Maybe it was the joy bubbling out of me for the next 48 hours.
Whatever the reason, on the last day of the conference, I sat on the front row and appointed myself to approach the sponsors and thank them for hosting the conference.
Like I was on the greeting committee.
Like I was someone important. Someone with worth. Someone with a voice to be heard and a story to tell….
….like I was me.
But the story doesn’t end there.
The next year I went back and appointed myself head of the greeting committee and stood at the hotel reception desk and welcomed everyone. I didn’t ever want anyone to feel the way I felt. I wanted to encourage everyone at that conference. I wanted to uplift. I wanted everyone at Haven to understand that they had a story to tell.
And I was here to listen.
Year after year I showed up.
Year after year I tried so hard to make sure everyone was included.
And then?
In a full-circle conference moment?
The girl that once upon a time felt so small?
Was handed this award on a stage in front of 400 people.
The Haven Inspiration Award.
I burst into tears. I couldn’t help myself. It was incredible. It was overwhelming.
I wish I could go back. I wish I could have dried the tears of that girl sitting on the bed sobbing because she didn’t feel like she fit in and tell her she was ENOUGH.
And tell her that incredible, awesome, special, not-to-be-believed things were just around the corner.
The moral of this blogging tale?
Remember that everyone has worth. Don’t ever let others try to tell you differently.
There is only one you.
And that you is amazing.
And creative and wonderful and incredible with a unique voice and a story to tell.
And if you ever attend a blogging conference…
….I’ll save you a seat right next to me. 🙂
KariAnne- I can't think of anyone more deserving of this award than you! You are kind, warm, welcoming and a true inspiration. I am honored to know you and to call you my friend. You have done more for me than you will ever know! ❤️
Everyday is brighter, funnier and inspirational and encouraging sharing your blog, sharing you. Thank you!!
You are amazing, inspiring, relatable, talented, tenacious, kind…And you are you! Thanks for being you and sharing your life with all of us.
This brought tears to my eyes. My heart was breaking for you while reading this, I’m so very glad you went back and held your head high. I absolutely love following you!
Thanks so much for sharing your story KariAnne. I am so happy you received this award!! You are such a hard worker and share your creativity so generously. You DESERVE this award. You go girl! Thanks for being an inspiration!!
Congratulations, my friend.
All of your peeps are so very happy for you! you are the most amazing coach and mentor we could ask for! So very glad I was there to see you receive this well deserved (and long overdue❤️❤️)award! Congratulations!❤️❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations, you beautiful girl. I can think of so many award names that would fit you, but “inspiration” fits perfectly. You are an inspiration to me and so many others. Thank you and well done!
You are AMAZING! And your encouragement and ideas and hustle have inspired me beyond belief. I’m the year I’ve known you, you’ve made such a difference, I can’t full express it. Thank you and congratulations on this award and all of the beautiful things ahead for you!
Karianne, you are a true treasure! You're a 'friend' I've never met, a woman with a mission, a kind heart, a lot of sass and red lipstick! You inspire me with every blog you post. Congratulations on your award! It is very much deserved. ❤️
Way to go kariAnne! What a beautiful and inspiring wonderful person you are! Thank you! And, congratulations!!!
Wow, great story and brave of you to tell us about that first night at Haven. An award well earned; because you are the welcoming committee every time I read your blog. Keep up the great work.
What a marvelous ending to that story! If anyone deserves that award itbis you my friend. You are the epitome of amazing! Congratulations!!!
Congratulations! I have tears running down my face because you transparently shared your survivor story which inspires all of us reading it to be survivors too in our daily lives. Thank you! Display your award where you can see it to remind yourself we your readers are so very proud of you.
It does not surprise me a bit that you won the Haven award. Your lovely heart shines through your words and your pics every single blog. I hope one day I get to sit by you.
Congratulations!!!
Thank for sharing your heartwarming and inspiring story! You so deserve this award as well! Congratulations!
Thank you for being so transparent & for sgaring how you hung in there caring about others enough to make them feel welcome each time they came to Haven. Congratulations on your award. I can't wait to read your blog each day. It always inspires me & makes a difference in my life.
Karianne my daughter is a blogger and has been to Haven. She had a very similar experience her first year but plowed through and made some friends. The next year you were her mentor and it changed her world. Your kindness and joy are contagious and this award is spot on, you are a true inspiration! Thank you!
Awe, what a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. I love your blog and open it immediately when received. I’m glad you didn’t give up!
Great story. I hate B-----S like that. We've all been there at some time or another. Good that you found a way to get past it. Congratulations on being you and being awarded for it too!
Congratulations KariAnne on the award from Haven. You have always rocked it and are very deserving of it. On another note, where did you get the cute pink dress. I love it! XO
Diane, I got it from Tuckernuck!!!! It's sold out in pink but here's the link for the navy or the black (affiliate): https://bit.ly/3YmdFEy Also---I found this one that's on sale right now that I bought and wore at Haven! It's SO FLATTERING ON!!! https://bit.ly/44RdEKW Let me know if you have any questions! Happy day! KariAnne
Congratulations!! You deserve it! You ARE an inspiration to me and so many. My husband even knows your name- he will ask me how I knew about this and that and I'll say it is from KariAnne:) Keep on inspiring us every day!
You are my Miss Congeniality and always so inspirational!! xoxo
Congratulations on your award! You are so deserving and I appreciate your positive attitude. Love looking at all your blog posts!!
Congratulations my sweet friend! Well deserved. You've been the most welcoming, warm, encouraging, wonderfully giving mentor and friend. There's always room for friends at your table and your success is because the persona you project on your blog, is truly who you are...and people can see that. ❤️
What a great story!! Congratulations to you on your well deserved award. You ARE inspiring!
I don’t know why am crying, but I am. I think many of us have had the experience of being looked up and down. When we relocated from West Virginia to a larger area in Ohio, I attended a newcomers meeting and felt much the same way. And I thought I looked so nice! Thank you for sharing. You are the real deal. And someday I will tell you just how very much this connection means. Have an amazing day just like you.💚
You are awesome! Congratulations! No one deserves this award more than you.
Congratulations on your award! You are so deserving. Thank you for sharing your story. My eyes got misty reading it. You are truly amazing!
Thank you so much- this absolutely made my day! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ Paige
The problem with the first Haven conference was that all of us weren’t there. Us….. your true supporters . We’re here come rain, shine, messy hair and smeared lipstick : )
Awwww! That would have made it so much better for SURE!!!!
So deserved KariAnne! So, so deserved! Happy for you. Proud of you and look at the story you now have. You truly made lemonade when you were handed a lemon! It’s a joy to follow along in your journey. You show your real self and are encouraging and inspirational to so many. Keep being you! It’s always a brighter day when an email from you in in the mailbox! Texas sized hugs! Katy
Boy, I love this! I have bene to conferences where I felt like that. Way to go for being yourself and allowing others to be themselves too. :) And you look so cute in that pink dress! :)
What a blessing for me today. My Mom taught me to be kind and "go forward" and never be a "snob". You certainly deserved that award and trust you were wearing that red lipstick when you accepted it!! Thanks for sharing.
Congrats! So glad you didn't let the others define your value on that first encounter. Women are often so unkind. While it was painful initially, it brought out the best in you...making others feel included is a gift. Keep on sharing that gift because you have recognized that the worst "loneliness" can occur in the middle of a roomful of people!
thank you so much for sharing. I love your blog and your honesty. keep up the great work and don't look back.
Your sweet, heartfelt and sometimes funny stories brighten my day. You are often my Haven when I am having a bad day. Your award says it all. You inspire people to be better, do better and act better toward others. Thank you.
Love your story -- did make me cry. We have all been there some time in our lives, and you are so brave to share it. I look forward to your blog every day and sometimes go back and re-read older ones. Thank you for being such an inspiration!
What a wonderful, uplifting story! You interrupted the pity party and lifted yourself up along with many others. I'm so very proud of you and thank you for sharing this story!! i love your blog and I'm inspired by it. Be well and stay sassy, gurl.
You deserve that award and more! You are a shining light from God! I am so glad i found your blog and i can’t tell you how many times i have needed some light and sunshine and God sent an email from you with encouraging words that brightened my day and lifted me up. Thank you for being you and letting that light shine through. God uses us all if we will let him. Blessings to you and yours! And Lord how thankful for we are for our “peeps” who love us and support us everyday! ❤️🙏🏻
KariAnne once again you have said what all of us have felt in the past. Lonliness in a room full of people. Being looked up and down and somehow feeling 'less than'. I am so proud of you for not heading home! You are such a sweet dear heart. You deserved the award.
I'm so happy for you! I love your style and down-to-earth, welcoming, inspiring personality! I feel like you are a friend although we've never met. Congratulations!
Congratulations!!!! You are an inspiration to us all!!! Keep being AMAZING!!!!
Congratulations! Your happiness is contagious! Something I need in my daily life.You share your wonderful ideas and finds all in a positive manner. I enjoy your blog very much!
Oh My Friend, I wish I was there to share in your Special Moment. Well deserved Award. “You are AMAZING”. Congratulations 👏👏❤️
Congratulations Kari Anne! So proud for you!
Congrats KariAnne no one is more deserving than you. You make me laugh, inspire my creativity and sometimes cause my eyes to well up. Thank you for being you and always bein there. Blessings...
Congratulations!!! I am sorry you had to go through so much to get this award! You are so amazing and have such a warm and generous spirit. I am so glad you were finally recognized for it.
I read this and cried!!! You always make my day with the truth you share of your own life. I could not have picked a better blog to join with. Congratulations on the award. I see many more in your future. Big Hugs 🤗
Congratulations KariAnne!!!! You are an inspiration every day I read your blog. Continue to share your stories with us.
Oh, KariAnn! Most days, actually, there are moments when I really and truly try to hit "undo." And then I'm shocked when the mistake just sits there, staring me in the face as if to say, "Well, fortunately, this, too, shall pass!"
I would love to know where you bought your rugs. I love the ones with blue in them. Thank you so much. Elizabeth Wilson gwilson101@gmail.com Thistlewood farms.com
Congratulations on your award!!!! Your kindness and caring comes through in every blog post. That's why I will never miss a post by you!!!!
YOU...ARE...AMAZING! I would have been, and would be, thrilled and star-struck to be in the same room with you and your positive energy, sense of humor, great advice and beautiful soul. I LOVE how you handled your experience! You have inspired me - you always do! God Bless YOU to infinity!!
I love this! I love your attitude and constant encouragement for everyone! Congratulations on the award! It was made for you!!!
I love this story so much. Thank you for sharing and inspiring. You are a rockstar!! And thanks for reminding us all that we are too.
I loved hearing this story. Thanks for being my favorite blogger.
Karianne, once again you lovingly teach us all a lesson we need to hear again and again! Perseverance and kindness will take you far! How lucky were those shy, and new Haven attendees to be greeted by you! Thank you for the reminder and for your example! And yes, you deserved that award!
OMGosh my heart was breaking for you reading this - and I could so relate - this would be me! Kudos to you for having the nerve to even walk up to the groups. I usually find the people sitting alone and sit with them, because I would never want to be sitting alone there myself and never want anyone else to feel that way. You are so incredibly amazing!!!!! And so deserving of that award. It seems like every year, I hear about the Haven Conference after-the-fact. I've always wanted to attend. Next year is MY year! I'm going. P.S - please provide your affiliate link for that adorable pink dress!!!!!
Thank you for this! You are absolutely preciously beautiful!!
Congratulations, so glad for you. You are special and always share so much with us and I am so glad I found your blog. Have a specially blessed day!
A well-deserved congratulations to you. I love how you decided to change the script to your story AND how you took the proverbial bull by the horns and made sure no one else felt the way you did on your first day at Haven. Hopefully those people who overlooked you have since grown and matured and are more welcoming to others not in the "inner circle".
You would have thought Haven would have had a host to welcome everyone (shame on them) but I am not at all surprised you took on the job to make everyone feel welcomed. Please don't quit bogging anytime soon.
Over the years, twice I have messaged you, and twice you have answered. I do not think that is happenstance; I believe that is who you are, KariAnne. I know you must receive many messages and that each of mine was likely one of many, but you took time out of your precious day to respond to me and to make me feel seen. Thank you, KariAnne, and congratulations for an award well-deserved and its category one you live daily.
You are an inspiration to so many and we all love you for being you. I love that you appointed yourself welcoming person. Just think how you may have touched someone’s life. Kudos on your much deserved award
Love you, my friend. An award that is very deserving and so glad they selected you. I could not think of a better person to give this award to at Haven. Congrats! You have been an amazing mentor to me and others. I dearly admire you and your bubbly personality.
Congratulations! So well deserved! It is difficult for me to believe this really shattering thing happened to you since you seem to have it so all together, but I am so glad you soldiered through and that experience has, in turn, helped you make so many of us feel that we are OK and even special!
You are amazing and often a bright light in my day! Love your inclusiveness and positivity! Blessings to you sweet lady!
You are AMAZING ❤️
You are truly AMAZING ❤️
Oh my heart hurt as I read of your first conference ..little did they know..they were in the presence of the most talented, kind, funny, creative, beautiful person to ever grace the Bloggers world!! So sad that theres people don't always help the next one up thr ladder to success. You're a lot of positive power in a small package..liken to a stick of dynamite!! You do you!! Love your stories and experiences shared.
Wonderful! Those people don't know what they missed out on by not embracing you from the beginning - but then, if everything had been all shiny and happy, you wouldn't have seen the need to welcome the newbies and make everyone feel like they're at home. You're a blessing, friend. :)
You deserved that standing ovation KariAnne! Would you believe who I met at my first Haven, before the conference even started... Someone AMAZING who changed the trajectory of my life? YOU! I am so blessed to have crossed your path at the exact time i needed to meet you. Thank you for sprinkling your joy and knowledge. Sending LOVE and HUGS to you, sweet friend
Congratulations!! It has been fun watching you "grow" in this business. From your blogs, to your :What I Found" on Wednesdays....it's been fun!
Thank you for this encouraging story! I look forward to your blogs. You are always an inspiration!
Congratulations, you so deserve this award! Thank you for putting so much goodness out into the World!
Wow just wow with this message!
Congratulations on your award! You have always been enough, KariAnne! xoxoxo...
Congratulations on your much deserved award. Now when are they going to give the "Best Stories Award????" Great motto and you are completely right!! It's great getting older bc the older we get the less we care what other's think. People can be wicked when it's not necessary. It was so great of you to change the climate in that meeting. Shows real leadership!! Well told story as always!! Thanks for sharing!
What a great story! You are an uplifter KariAnne! Good for you- congratulations!!
KariAnne, I love your blogs, your since of humor, your exuberance, and your decorating style, but...this one touched my heart, made me cry, and made me see myself. I finally realized that I have a gift, I love to create, decorate, and share my creations with others. You have to believe in yourself if you want others to believe in you. Thank you for this uplifting post.
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! You go girl. I am so stinking proud of you. What a post - it speaks to us all - young and old, confidence and not-so-much-so. You are a real, tried-and-true hero in my book. Bravo. SO SO well done, KA!
Congratulations, and you are so deserving of the award. Girlie, you are enough. And then some! Your effervescence is contagious and inspirational.
Hooray for you, KariAnne! Thanks for reminding all of us that we have value and make a difference in others’ lives. Thank you for encouraging us to square our shoulders and March in bravely to whatever daunting tasks facing us! Loved this!
Congratulations for your deserved award and your wonderful attitude. I would have probably given up and never gone back. And a special hug to you for volunteering for the welcome committee. You make this world a better place.
KariAnne, your positive attitude, cheerleading, motivation, and unwavering support of all of us newbies, who you have nothing to gain from except friendship, deserves even so much more than an award! In your own words, you are AMAZING!! I wish I would have been there to see you receive it. Thank you for making me feel welcome at my first Haven last year. And we can all take lessons from this funny and vulnerable story—we've all walked in these shoes, so let's shake off the "I'm not good enough" and put on a big inviting smile. And then turn our thoughts outside of ourselves and show interest and support for someone else. Congrats my friend!!💗
KariAnne, thanks for sharing this post with us! I had tears when you shared about your first conference. Those gals did not realize what a wonderful gal you were! So happy that you received the "Haveninspiration Award for 2023"! This was well deserved and the people who decided to present this award to you realized how wonderful and caring and thoughtful you are -- all the time! Don't ever forget that: "YOU ARE AMAZING AND CREATIVE AND WONDERFUL AND INCREDIBLE WITH A UNIQUE VOICE AND A WONDERFUL STORY TO TELL" -- AND YOU ARE TRULY LOVED FOR THE WONDERFUL, THOUGHTFUL, CARING AND LOVING GAL THAT YOU ARE! I thank God for you, KariAnne, and the blessing that you are to all of us who read your fabulous posts each and every day!
Congratulations!
You are such an inspiration. I am so happy you received this reward and acknowledgement. Tears filled my eyes while I was reading. I enjoy your blog. This story shows we all just want to belong and help each other. Keep being You. Beautiful.
That was the best story you could have shared. It helps a lot of people know they are important and not to give up when the going gets tough. Thanks for sharing.
Congratulations! I saw you on instagram and was so happy for you! So well deserved! I remember when you originally shared that story years ago. I think so many of us can relate in one way or another. Cheers to you! Shelley
Oh, sweet KariAnne! I can barely see to type this. My eyes are overflowing with tears. Bless your heart! YOU are truly amazing! You soooooooo deserve that award and I'm so happy for you! What a great recognition of YOU! 😍
Love this all so much KariAnne! Can't think of anyone more deserving than you for the Inspiration award!! Congratulations!! XO, Heather
You are incredible Believe it!
You are amazing!! Thank you for sharing this story with us. You are so deserving of this award. You’re always warm and welcoming!! Congratulations friend!
Karianne this has me in tears. You are amazing. You lift your readers up each day and that is why I come back to read each blog. I am sorry they did not see your heart or your smile and want to be instantly friends with you. Each time you take time to reply to one of my comments I see your message and think it’s my friend Karianne! I wonder what kind of happiness she has to spread my way! I’m thankful God made you just the way you are!
Congratulations KariAnne! I can not think of anyone more deserving than you. You have inspired is and given us the courage to dig deep and try a little harder. Love your optimism, smile and energy! Thanks you!
Huge congratulations my friend so well deserved!! Miss you and love you!! xo
I snapped a pic of the end of this blog post: “There is only one you…..a story to tell.” as a reminder to myself, on “One of Those Days!”. 💓 Thank you for being Who God made You to Be & shining SO Brightly, for all the World to see Jesus in you! 🤟🏼Danelle
So very proud of you! What a full circle moment of those recognizing all that you possess inside. Thankful you came into my life and left glitter in my world. Must be from those cute earrings! Love you, friend!
KariAnne, I met you on Tybee Island, Ga several Februarys ago. I knew you were special when I first talked to you. You told me about your twins and I told you about my twin granddaughters. We had lunch together at The Lady & Sons (we sat beside of each other while we ate). I remember you told me I was SASSY! I took that as a compliment and I think I’m still SASSY at 73 years old! I love your blog!
So glad you have shared this story. It resonates so clearly with me. You’re a BEAUTIFUL person inside and out! It was painful for me to read you had experienced this from others at Haven….however a dazzling Wow!!!!…you turned your scar into a star by making sure others were welcomed and didn’t feel so all alone, not only this you were handed the prettiest award I’ve ever seen!