I spent the last few weeks getting ready for the beach.
I mean….seriously…..just between us…..
….it’s an undertaking.
Can I get an amen?
I highlighted my hair and doused myself in fake tanner and bought some face bronzer and found some new red lipstick….
…..and apologized profusely to the nail tech during the first pedicure of the season. 🙂
And then I had this brilliant plan with the whole bathing suit thing.
I can’t really take credit for the idea.
I think I read it somewhere or heard it in the beauty shop or saw it in the pages of a magazine in the Wal Mart check out line.
Wherever or however I thought it up…..the idea was to buy a bathing suit that was smaller than the size I normally wear….
…..to give me an incentive.
You know…..a goal for the beach.
And the suit hung in my closet…..looking amazing and waiting for its day in the sun.
And I made healthy choices for a week and drank eight glasses of water a day and ate my vegetables…..
…..and I was so all about me and my healthy eating self.
And after a week….I blew a kiss to the suit and climbed on the scale.
Not a single pound.
I stepped off and tried again.
I looked at the suit and I looked at the scale and I thought to myself….
Tomorrow is another day.
And so I waited and drank extra water and parked my car at the back of the parking lot at Hobby Lobby and walked for exercise.
(Please tell me that counts).
And the next morning I held my breath and stepped on the scale…..
Absolutely, positively not a lost pound in sight.
And then I got mad.
And I yelled…..and at this point I may or may not have kicked the scale.
And in the middle of my meltdown….my husband came into the room. I pointed wildly to the bathing suit and then rolled my eyes and pointed to the scale and poured out my tale of woe.
He listened to everything attentively.
And then he walked over and picked up the scale to look at it.
As he picked it up…..the scale made a noise….like pieces of it were falling apart. There was a clink and a clack.
Then he shook it again and everything inside rattled.
“Where did we get this scale from?” he asked.
And looked at him and at the ceiling and the floor and the bathroom sink and in a very small voice I replied, ”Ummm….
…..I bought it at a yard sale.”
To his credit…..he didn’t state the obvious.
He simply smiled and shook his head.
And the next morning a new scale sat waiting….just in time to let me know I’d lost five pounds….and that before long…..my new suit at the beach….
….was going to look totally amazing.