I grew up in a household full of love and joy and creative individuals….a band of merry men….
…..led by the merriest of them all.
My father was the heartbeat of our home.
He knew every single element on the periodic table and every detail of the revolutionary war and could sing every verse of the Battle Hymn of the Republic in a perfect tune he strummed out on his guitar. He was witty and funny and kind and generous and when he talked to you….
…he had the amazing ability to make you feel like you were the only person in the room.
And that you could climb mountains.
Probably backwards…..carrying your brother in a wheelbarrow. 🙂
He taught us by the way he lived. He walked with his head held high and he shook your hand and looked you in the eyes and you knew you were special. He showed us that every single person has value and worth and much grace should be given….
….because you never know the battle that someone else is fighting.
I thought he was a giant.
I thought he was a king.
I thought he was a warrior….
….and that he would live forever.
And then six years ago….in the blink of an eye…suddenly and without any warning…..
….the leader of our band of merry men was gone.
I was so angry.
How could we go on without him? He was our world.
I shook my fist and sobbed and asked over and over and over again….
….”Why?”
I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
I would give the world to get to talk to him one more time. Just to see his smile. Just to hear his voice.
Just to tell him I loved him.
And then….this summer at the Cape….my mother handed me an envelope. She had been slowly going through his things and she found a letter he had written to all of us years and years earlier. He had so many things to tell us….she said….and he wrote them down to pass on the wisdom of what he had learned.
Life lessons he wanted to make sure we remembered.
He wrote the letter and sealed it and left instructions for it to be opened after he was gone.
You see….he knew.
He knew we would be lost without him. He knew that life’s journey would be challenging and full of twists and turns….without direction. He knew we would need reassurance and hope and words of wisdom for the lonely road ahead.
And when she handed me the letter…..tears filled my eyes…..
….and then I opened it and read:
“KariAnne,
You are rich; you are delightful; you are creative. Through your natural personal energy you can make the world better for having lived.
But with great talent comes great responsibility.
You must discipline your talking ability to increase your personal effectiveness. By discipline, I mean you must learn and sharpen your listening skills and your timing. You have a natural integrity that can be used or ignored. Always follow the straight road. Short term gains made at the expense of your integrity will ruin you in the end.
Practice grace.
Practice charm.
Be a guardian to your brothers and sisters. You may be one of their few sources of strength.
Love to you,
Dad”
Those words of wisdom are still swirling around in my head and I want to clutch the pages to my heart and tell him thank you.
Thank you for being an example of a life well-lived.
Thank you for being tough and understanding and oh so patient with a daughter who opened her mouth and inserted her foot more times than you could count.
Thank you for your legacy.
And thank you for taking the road less traveled.
I love you Dad…..
…..and I always will. 🙂
Beautiful words of wisdom. What a treasure. :)
Awww, how wonderful that your Dad wrote those words on paper. And what a blessing you had in your life being able to have a Dad like that. I am envious. Just adore you, Keri Anne, foot in mouth and all!!!!
Wow, Karianne, what a precious gift from your dad. I can tell he knew you well and appreciated your amazing gifts, just like the rest of us do, but in a way only a dad can! :) Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Have an awesome day.
I tried so hard not to cry, but my throat got tight and I couldn't help it. This was so touching and beautiful. I see where you get a lot of your loveliness from! <3
Wow Karianne - what powerful words...what an incredible man....it explains who you are and the amazing words you write here. I am amazed every time I read your posts but now I see where you got your gift from. He is always with you, you carry a part of him in you, that is apparent. What a blessing!
With tears in my eyes, I thank you for sharing.
What a huge Blessing! You had a very thoughtful and wonderful dad. I see the resemblance :-) Sherry xoxo
Mt dear and sweet friend. My heart is full for you and your family. I so remember those days that led your daddy to his perfect home. My heart was broken for each of you. And, now look at this gift he has given you. It is the most unimaginably perfect gift - and you can hold it in your hands and feel his love. Oh how much I need the love and wisdom my daddy always gave me. Just a hug from him to carry me through these tough times would be wonderful. You have a forever treasure, and every pen stroke and word knows your heart. Sending love from me to you.
I couldn't have said it better, Beverly. I miss my dad, who's been gone for six years, every single moment of every day. He left us, via Alzheimer's, before he truly left us, but his love and spirit and kindness touches me every second, most especially during difficult times.
KariAnne, this is beautiful. I too had a strong daddy who was gone way too early. I don't go to his grave, I don't have flowers put on it, none of that stuff. You are doing what I endeavor to do: living your life as a tribute to the way he taught you, the standards he set--not by preaching, but by living. There is no better way to memorialize someone you love the way you obviously loved your father. Bless you...and, as Daddy would say, carry on!
Karianne, How special.... I lost my father 7 years ago and last Saturday night was his birthday so my brothers and sisters and my family got together for dinner and told Dad stories that had us laughing mostly and a little crying. I'm sure a lot of people can relate. Thank you for sharing so a beautiful and personal letter. I love his message, somethings I know I could improve upon. Lord knows I'm always praying for more grace.
Let me wipe the tears from my eyes so I can see what I'm writing. KariAnne, that is a beautiful letter -- thank you for sharing and I think that you have been following your dad's advice without having read his letter. I know that you treat each person you meet as if they are special, as if they are important -- unique and able to accomplish miracles. I know that because that is how you've made me feel and we've never met in person although I hope to some day. You do have a gift -- a talent -- and you make the world a better place just by being you. It looks like you're carrying on your dad's legacy. Bless you and big hugs.
Today's my Mom's birthday. She would have been 82, and I lost her eight and a half years ago. Opening up your post today therefore had very special meaning to me, as my Mom went quickly too, and I miss her terribly. I am the talker of my siblings as well, to much kidding and commenting by others, so I take your father's words as advice to listen and time more effectively. My written word and love to do so is brought forth, much more effectively than my spoken word, in hand-scripted letters to my son and daughter at certain moments of their lives, especially when leaving for college every year. I hope these last forever for them as documents of the life-lessons they are always telling me that I try to impart on them. You are lucky to have your father's words and such an important part of him. Thank you for sharing this today. Have a wonderful day!
Such beautiful words....Thank you for sharing such a personal moment with the world.
Oh my! I lost my mother at a young age and would have given ANYTHING to have gotten a letter from her like this. How special! Blessings to you.
Thank you sweetheart for living out as Mark, Jr would say, "The Legacy." This is a treasured, heartfelt testimony to your dad. Thank you and I love you.
Karianne, What a beautiful gift you were given, both in life and in your father's wisdom through the letter. I'm sorry for your loss. I am a new to your blog, though I've been blogging for seven years. I'm enjoying it. Grace to you…
Such a beautiful and poignant post, KariAnne. The tears just flowed as I read your words. You are so right about life’s journey being challenging and full of twists and turns, without direction, once your beloved parents have crossed over. Cherish your father's letter and advice.
What an inspired tribute to the magical thing that is a father's love for his daughter...and a daughter's love for her dad. It brought tears, joy, and memories of my own dad. Thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful father.....
Beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. I lost my mother 7 years ago this December and like your dad she was the glue that held us together. I would give anything to talk to her and hug her again, it was sudden and not expected. I wish I could find a letter from her, it would be so wonderful. I miss her more than I can say. Thank you for sharing, you write beautifully I love reading your stories!
Oh Karianne, what a beautiful gift and what a special man. I lost my dad when I was 15. What I wouldn't give to have shared my life with him. Is he proud of me, would he have liked the person I have become--you hold in your hand the answers to all of those, and tangible proof of how much you meant to him. Cherish it always. So happy for you!
KariAnne, your dad left you a perfect love letter. I'm going to write a letter to my son right now. As you said, sometimes you don't get a chance to say goodbye.
Oh dear lady, this one made me year up. At your loss. And at your new found treasure. What an exquisite experience to read your father's voice again, after he was gone. And I noticed you've been pinning writing spaces. You working on the love story we all can't wait to read? You know it's only gonna be a matter of time. And I am happy to patiently pester you for as long as it takes. Thanks for warming my heart by sharing this story, The Other Marian
Miz karianne....you were so lucky to be born into the family you love so much....awww, who am I kidding? Luck had nothing to do with it! You and I both know that God loved you so much He gave you the best love and environment in which to grow, and become the person He intended you to become. Your Dad was both a blessing to others, and he was blessed in return. My Grandfather was like that. I miss him greatly and it's been 35 years now. Like you with your Dad, I would give anything I have just to be able to spend a little while with him, one last time. Ah, but it wouldn't be the last time....there will be another day. And you will have that day also. I'm sorry for the sweet saddness in your heart, but so glad he was able to gift you with a tangible piece of his love, one more time. Thank you for sharing this incredible moment with us. I need to do this for my children and grandchildren....because we don't know when that time will come and we don't want anything to be left unsaid.
What a treasure your father left for you....even then watching out for you! Something every father should do~ Thanks for sharing!
Your father must have been an amazing guy, KariAnne. The letter is beautiful and made me cry. It's a great gift that he left you. Thank you for sharing it!
There are treasures in this life that cannot be quantified… Having a father like yours… is a perfect example of such a treasure.
So touching.....
What a wonderful gift you received at the Cape! Words to treasure my friend! And, as usual, I had a few tears with my coffee...you do know how to spin a story! ;)
precious!
How wonderful to have these words from your Dad! GRACE is my favorite word ever. Our parents have such wisdom to share, and that's why Neal wrote his book I sent you:) What a gift to cherish from your Dad!
ooooh so teary right now, but in a good way!
What a precious gift you've been given and a true treasure. Beautiful.
I miss Mark, too. Sometimes on mission trips when I recall the many we took together--Kenya, Argentina, Scotland, France, and Holland, I wonder what he would have done or said in a particular situation. Sometimes in the Bible study group, I miss his insight and teaching. During the holidays and birthdays and the un-celebrated days of mourning and grief, I remember his laugh and way he would say to Jerry, "You know you're my best friend." He would walk away and wave backward. I can still see his hand, and I know I'll see him again.
I knew this would be a heart-rending post from your first line. My parents are both still alive, but elderly and in somewhat shaky health. I try to appreciate their presence in my life each day because, as you so beautifully wrote, we never know when that last day will be. So wise of your father to have a letter prepared for you and your siblings. Such hope knowing you will be together again.
Precious, priceless , and praying for your hurting heart . So thankful you were blessed with such a sweet daddy!
how wonderful to have those written words to remind you of what a great man he was....I'm pretty sure he is very proud of you! xoxo Linda
Oh if everyone could have a Dad like yours...the world would be a much better place because we all would be much better people. Thanks to God for he is that for me. Loved hearing your story.
Your Dad left you such an amazing gift. How graced you were to have a wonderful father who gave his all to his family. His love and wisdom surrounds you daily.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us. What a fabulous legacy to have and cherish. Going to go hug my dad
Wow. You feel about your Dad like I do mine. Wasn't he such an awesome Father that we are fortunate...we easily understand a loving Heavenly Father. And this year as I mourned and longed for my Dad's wisdom... I realized his wisdom was not his own but was given him from above, from God...so I was never without Dad's wisdom! He would listen to The Lord and was fun and funny and it didn't cost money for him to entertain all his grandkids. He made peeling an apple for them before bed and cracking them almonds an event. We didn't just eat pizza. No! We had pizza parties!!! Festive! His advice? Gentle. Loving. And now I miss my Dad. His hands. Saying a bit of Swede. Praying. Writing me a letter. But this is about you. Missing your Dad. It's hard. I felt so loved. You did too. We were so very very gifted by God with this gift of a loving father. What shall we do with it? I find myself saying, The Lord provides. Turn it over to The Lord. Just hang up. (If someone is harassing you). You can't make sense out of nonsense. And I keep his memory close by talking about him. And having photos up. And remember, Gud ar altid. Swede for God is always near. Especially on days like these.
Priceless!
Oh, my what a wonderful treasure you were given. Such words of wisdom and I am sure you will cherish that letter.
You have crushed me this morning. I lost my Mom last July, we just marked the first anniverary of her passing. I miss her in ways I never thought possible. I miss her in the ways you expect to miss one of the most important people in your world. But it is the small ways that have brought me to my knees, things I didn't see coming. Her gentle guidance always kept me on the right path and she sweetly chided me when I waivered from what was true and right. She was always on my side and thought I was incredible and amazing and I thought she was, too. We are slowly going through her things and I am hoping we come across a letter such as this. Your Dad sounds like a king, a leader of men. I am glad you have such cherished memories and that they sustain you through your terrible grief.
What a beautiful heritage!
I can't believe it's been six years. I adored your dad - he made me feel like a movie star! He was the kind and gentle "cuddly" dad that I always wished I had...God bless him for having the foresight to write you a letter that you could treasure forever. Love you, my precious friend!
Obviously your father taught you well! Even before receiving this priceless gift, you have practiced what he advised: charm, integrity, grace and strength. And to harness your creativity and personal energy responsibly. Well done! You might think of this letter as more a note of approval and encouragement to hold true as you travel your personal path - and in his handwriting! It just couldn't be better! Note to self: my children need letters not e-mails. Hugs!
Not only am I moved by your Dad's letter, KariAnne, but by all of the loving, heart-felt responses. What a wonderful group of followers you have, and I am priviledged to be one of them.
Wow, what a beautiful letter and such a special gift to you! My eyes teared up while reading your post. I am so inspired on so many levels. -Shelley
Your father was such a special person. I always loved it when he taught our Bible study. His eyes would sparkle and he would lean forward in his chair and engage all of us in the lesson. He touched so many lives here in McKinney.
Oh Kari, This was such touching and personal post! What a lovely gift your father left; such sweet and wise words. He knew your heart. Thank you for sharing your very personal story. It brought many tears to my eyes. As I read it, I thought of a dear friend who recently lost her mother, (her best friend) and how desperately she longs to hear from her one last time. I am so sorry for your loss, but I am so happy that you received a beautiful unexpected gift when your mom handed you that letter. Hugs to you!
Thank you for sharing such a personal story with the blogging world. Your father was clearly a remarkable man and so loving to leave each of you a last few tidbits of wisdom after he departed this earthly world. What a blessing for your family.
What a priceless gift to have found that letter and have your Father's amazing words at your side for strength and support!! Thanks for sharing this and your family's love with us KariAnne! xo Heather
I know that any of us would love to have one more visit with our father and mother. How blessed you are to have his letter. I am so fortunate to have discovered your blog. You have become my written friend.
You're going to do something wonderful with this priceless letter aren't you! (I appreciate you so very much!)
That was a beautiful letter. You are lucky to have had a dad like that in your life. I'm tearing up as I write to you. I think about my parents who are gone, and what they have meant to me. One of the things I miss the most from my dad is was the go to person, he always gave me strength and made me feel better. Thanks for sharing.
What a sweet blessing! Looks like he had you pegged, K.
Very hard for a person to read through tear filled eyes. Simply beautiful. I truly enjoy you posts. Thank you so much for being you. Marijean
Thank you for sharing this. He writes, "your natural energy" and to me that means your light which reaches us all through your blog, your lamp. Keep shining, KariAnne. We are all better for it. :)
How in the world will I explain these tears here at work?? Absolutely beautiful. My daddy went to Heaven almost 5 years ago and I miss him so much - every.single.day. I too did not get to say goodbye - maybe it is God's way of protecting us because some goodbyes can be very painful ! Karen in Texas
Beautiful share a lot of love for sure :)!
Oh Kari Anne, what a great treasure. This struck a real nerve with me and brought stinging tears. I, too, think my Daddy is the end all and the only true fear and dread I have in my life is the day I get "the call". Every time I think about it I say, "no, please Jesus... not yet." What wisdom he left for you. We are a bit alike you know in that talking thing. :) Love you sweet Lady. Hope to see you soon. xoxo Cindy
Wow, what a wise and thoughtful man your dad was. My husband's dad passed suddenly and I know he would give anything just to say goodbye. Great words to live by. I think I'll go home and write one for my daughter tonight. Thanks for sharing this very personal thing with all of us.
KariAnne, it's wonderful that your Dad had the foresight to write letters for you and your siblings. And we all know that you've already begun to live the life that he envisioned for you ... I'd only be repeating comments above with much of what I want to say ... so just cherish it as the beautiful treasure your letter is: I know you do, and always will. I lost my own great Dad quite a number of years ago, my sweet Mom a bit later, but still get happy tears ~ as I did today ~ reading your post. Thank you for sharing this most personal glimpse into your wonderful life and family. kj
Hi -I lost my Dad over 45 years ago and it still seems like yesterday. Loving him was easy but missing him was hard. His last words to me was "I love you Betty" You father left you a treasure in that letter and I am sure you have followed all those words he said. Thank you for sharing,
Whelp... I needed a good cryfest, so thanks. ;} This is just precious, Karianne. I know he must have been an amazing man because he raised an amazing daughter. Thank you for carrying out his legacy in ways you don't even realize yet. Love + hugs - Ash
What a beautiful tribute, KariAnne. It's making me all teary-eyed, but I'm so glad you shared it with us. What a legacy - you are all the things he described, and you encourage and lift us ALL up, every day. Bless you, KariAnne, and enjoy that moment with your dad! <3
This is so beautiful, Karianne...having just lost my own father 2 months ago, I know what a treasure it would be to find that letter. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man and I know you miss him so...xoxo
I deeply felt your pain and your joy...my Dad was taken from us by an act of medical malpractice...talk about anger,..it's been 16 years and I still can't believe he isn't a phone call away to help me put life in perspective or help me solve the jumble...I truly felt as though you were describing my father as you were introducing yours...they were cut from the same cloth...very special...dearly missed, yet somehow with us still...reminding us of what is truly important. Bless you for sharing.
Beautiful, Karianne. Makes me think of my own dad! Thank you for bringing a tear to my eye. My father still lives, although for how long, I do not know but I know he is writing his memoirs and I also know I will cherish the day I get to read them. Love you, dear friend. ~~Angela
He knew you so well KariAnne - you ARE so rich (look at your sweet family), you ARE delightful (you make me smile and outright laugh every time I read of your crazy antics), and you ARE SO-O-O-O-O-O creative (just look over your own blog to see all that comes from your amazing mind)! He sounds wonderful, and I just know that he appreciates your sweet words about him and that you will always love him. Thanks so much for sharing this with all of us. I was the only girl in a family of four kids and I was so close to my Dad. No one will ever love me the way he did, but my sweet hubby comes close. I just got shivers reading your story. Big hugs from your biggest fan and soul sister... Maureen
After that, how could you ever, ever, ever think you were having a mediocre day? How blessed you were once to have such a man to guide you through life and now how blessed you are again with his words. I am sure reading his words stabbed at you like the sting you felt when you first lost him, but rest assured he was always there, letter or not, to continue to guide you. How beautifully blessed you are to know how loved you were. Fifty two years ago I lost my father when I was 6 and while I don't remember much of him, I feel his presence so very often and I am stopped in my tracks, so much that I know he is with me just when I need him the most. I would give anything to hear my father's voice, feel his touch and hear his laugh. You are so blessed to have this second chance, and my heart is breaking for my loss so very long ago, and the promise of what you found...
Think I'll go call my dad.
Oh how sweet and special that letter is. One you will cherish forever. I lost my daddy in 1984 to cancer 8 days before his 58th birthday and 10 days after my 30th. I was such a daddy's girl. He meant the world to me and all the wonderful memories still do.
Oh, Kari, what a BEAUTIFUL treasure you have there in your Dads words. Thank you for sharing them. I would give anything to have anything from my Dad. He died when I was 4, so I never got any words of wisdom, or example, or smiles or anything that I can remember. I wish I knew what his voice sounded like. I wish I could see his face and hands. I have a thing about hands. Be grateful for every single day you had with him, treasure your memories and know that you were SO loved. That is priceless. I now need to write letters to my son and daughter. XO
What an Amazing Man. He sounds to have been much like my Dad whom I lost 12 years ago. He was sick but we had no idea that his parting would be so quickly. He was the "King" of our family of 12. He was raised in a broken and abusive home. He ran away as child , he was found and brought home only to leave at the age of 18 and never looked back. He was homeless for quite some time but found a family that loved one another and love Him and they gave him a home. He met Mom ,married, settled down had 9 children and was the Most Amazing Person that I have ever encountered. He knew how to Love his wife and His children although he had never seen Love. He too lives on in each of our lives just as your Dad does yours. Thanks for sharing.
Never have I read something from a father that touched me deeper. This is absolutely beautiful. He knew you so well. What a blessing. You will be with him again someday. Until then, may you have peace, serenity, and always follow his wise counsel.
What a precious gift! My heart just melted at those words and he wasn't my father! I can't imagine having that treasure. What a blessing to you and how proud he would be of the way you encourage and inspire so many other women.Love you, girl!
Dearest Karianne- There is not a doubt in this world that your daddy is immensely proud of the woman you have become. Your warmth and beautifully loving heart just radiate from you, and far more than you know, you are touching and changing lives through your bright and sunny outlook on life, and your willingness to share your heart with so many. You yourself are now an amazing parent, building cherished memories with your own children, just as your dad did. And you are sharing your immense talent with the world in beautiful, heart touching ways. Thank you so much for bringing sunshine, smiles and even heartfelt tears to us all. The world is indeed a better place just because you are here...there is no greater legacy any of us can ever hope to leave. And I know you make your daddy smile every day, just as you do your many loving fans. Much love to you always...Lynn
Dang it, KariAnne, you've got me crying first thing in the morning again ;) you and your beautiful stories! What a wonderful family you must have. You are so very lucky!
I don't usually comment, but having been very close to my father and relating so well to your words as well as his I teared up. So many of the posts said what I would have said, so I will just remind you that our loved ones are never far from us. You can still talk to him, and if you are very still you will hear him in your heart. I would be framing the letter and placing it where I could see it frequently. Once you lose a parent you realize just how very important they are, enjoy and cherish your time with your mother while you still have her.
This is the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful thing I have ever read - it's so lovely to see a family who love and respect each other. I often worry about the day I loose my mum or dad, I'm lucky for now but you never know when it might be. When I was younger I never really appreciated either of them, we never saw eye to eye, but my best friend has recently lost her dad, we're only 20, and it's really hit home. I have appreciated them a lot more recently, they're my rocks. Your family is inspirational and he'll always be looking over you. xx
What a beautiful thoughtful father with love for his daughter that transcends time! It made me think of my father and how I did not get to say good bye but maybe we should never say goodbye for their legacy and love is something that trancends all time with the torch that we will pass to our future generations. Thank you for sharing such personal memories! Hug Hug Teresa
Such a gift. In his hand, touched by him, thinking of you, it's as if you have him, right there. I have lost my parents and some days it overwhelms me but to have something written in their own hand is like having a part of them. Keep this in a place where you can touch it, hold it, smell it, see it often. It is meant to be held...close to your heart.
Beautiful words from a man who loved you and was not afraid to express it. You were given an wonderful gift in having a dad that would give you the encouragement to be who you were meant to be, regardless of his hopes, dreams and desires for you. Today, July 19th I am mourning the passing of my dad, nine years ago. He was tough as nails, taught my older brothers and I to be strong, straight forward, and true. No warm and fuzzy feelings, no hugs or "job well done"s, but it worked for us, although I must say I envy the love you obviously received from your dad. I miss my dad everyday, the hardest part for me, is not being able to talk to him. I valued his opinions and his wisdom. So the lesson learned is to be those things that my dad was not, an encourager, a loving mom and friend - with a little bit of toughness mixed in. Thank you, KeriAnne, for sharing your sense of humor, your gifts and talents. I know without doubt that our dad's are smiling down upon us, proud of the people we have become.
This is just the most beautiful. So grateful for a man that raised you to be the warm, incredible woman you are! Love you, friend!
I teared up when I read your post KariAnne. I have no doubt that your dad hears your words.
WOW! KariAnne!!! What an amazing wonderful gift to receive from your Dad ......... Feel blessed that he can still influence you all these years later. Remember, you can always talk to him, just like you talk to our Lord God. Much love & respect! xoxo Sandy
So I am crying my eyes out this morning sitting in front of my computer at work. I sometimes reward myself for getting something done by checking your blog and since I have been very busy , I haven't read it for a while. What a beautiful post and what a wonderful man your father must have been! I too lost my Mom without warning. It makes me think of her and how very lucky I was as well. Thanks for sharing this!
I'm bawling. I feel like I love your dad too... and I never even met him... OR YOU for that matter!
What a beautiful and unexpected gift you've received. And what a great idea your dad had--I think all of us with children should be writing a letter. For someday.