I wake up every morning and try to make the house cuter.
Not a ton cuter.
Not a giant change.
Just enough to make it cuter than it was the day before.
I change out furniture or switch out pillows or change the direction of my rugs or add a new table or paint a piece of furniture or shop yardsale for the perfect new find for the room with a really good story.
I’m successful. Sometimes the birds sing and sunlight dances across the floor and the stars shine and I can hear a faint Hallelujah chorus in the background.
Sometimes there’s nothing but stink.
Last week I had a group of ladies coming to my house.
They are part of a local club here in my town that wanted to hold it’s meeting here at Thistlewood and the club sent a group of hostesses on ahead to scope out the house.
They wanted to plan out the centerpieces and discuss the menu and decide on traffic flow and seating and where the hostess table would be and a million other details.
I was a little bit nervous.
These are ladies I’ve looked up to my entire life.
Ladies with amazing outfits and amazing homes that I used to visit when I was little and stare in awe at.
These ladies (and their homes) look like they stepped out of a magazine.
AND THEY WERE COMING HERE.
I worked overtime to make sure the house was cute.
I rearranged furniture and make sure the floors were shiny and dusted the chandeliers and got fresh flowers and fluffed the pillows.
And finally, after days of preparation, the house was ready.
The morning they were supposed to arrive, I woke up to sunshine.
I put on the cutest outfit I own and fixed my hair and applied red lipstick and headed downstairs.
All I needed was to make sure the kitchen counters were wiped down and the shades were open and the house would be ready.
I ran downstairs and turned into the kitchen and reached for a dishtowel…
What was that smell?
I walked around the corner by the back door and sniffed again.
THE WORST, THE YUCKIEST, THE MOST DISGUSTING SMELL I’VE EVER SMELT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HIT ME IN THE FACE.
I almost gagged.
I almost threw up.
I covered my nose and ran out of the room and YELLED for my husband at the top of my lungs.
“SOMETHING HAS DIED. SOMETHING IS NO LONGER WITH US. SOMETHING HAS GONE TO MEET HIS MAKER AND LEFT BEHIND THE STINKIEST STINK YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE.”
And right there in the middle of my stinky kitchen, I started crying.
I cried because it was 102 degrees outside.
And heat makes stinky things stinkier.
And I had fancy ladies coming over to the house in one hour.
But mostly I cried because the house wasn’t cute anymore.
It was just stinky.
In the end, we never could find the stink.
My father-in-law and my husband searched everywhere and came to the conclusion that some furry thing with a tail and whiskers had met his untimely end in our walls.
My mother-in-law and my friend brought over air fresheners and candles and diffusers in a vain attempt to un-stink the stink.
But just between us?
The stink was just too strong.
The ladies toured and the house stunk and I told mouse jokes to try and diffuse the situation.
Maybe tomorrow the house will be cuter.
I’m staying away from the kitchen until then. 🙂