Have you ever heard of the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman?
I read it years ago and it’s kind of a game changer. The premise of the book is that everyone has a way that they show love and everyone has a way that they receive love and there are five different love languages and different ways we communicate.
Here are the love languages from the book.
In no particular order.
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Physical Touch
For example, my love language is Words of Affirmation.
You probably guessed that. Some people are bi-lingual.
Not me.
I’m kind of all in on the words of affirmation department.
Sometimes the whole love language thing can be a little challenging because sometimes people that we love…..
…..don’t speak our language.
They love us.
Unconditionally.
Instinctively we know they love us.
We know and understand that, it’s just that they show us love in a different way.
It’s kind of like these pumpkin slices.
When the tree fell in the back yard, I was so excited. Some people might have seen a fallen tree. I didn’t. I saw wood slice wreaths and chalkboard slice wreaths and centerpieces and pedestals and side tables and pumpkins…..
….glorious, wonderful, amazing, orange wood slice pumpkins.
Idea after idea spilled out in the middle of the back yard. Sparkling and brilliant and creative ideas that shimmered and danced like poetry across the field. And then I paused mid-idea factory and turned to my husband for affirmation.
I waited for him to be amazed at my creativity.
Amazed at my brilliance.
I waited for those incredible, precious words of affirmation.
Instead he smiled at me and shrugged. It wasn’t a negative shrug. It wasn’t meant to be dismissive. It was more like an overwhelmed-I-can’t-believe-my-wife-just-dreamed-up-50 projects-kind-and-I-still-have-a-fallen-tree-in-my-backyard kind of shrug.
But it wasn’t words of affirmation.
I wish this was the part of the story where I tell you that I took all that non-affirmation speaking well.
Sigh.
I didn’t.
I may or may not have rolled my eyes and grumbled and muttered under my breath and tried unsuccessfully to stomp back to the house in the wet grass.
After that display, we didn’t really talk much about the tree or the wood slices or the projects or pumpkins for the rest of the afternoon.
He stayed outside and I stayed inside.
Later that day, when I was trying to add a wreath to the front door, I heard him call my name.
And I walked out onto the back porch and saw this….
….stacks and stacks and stacks of wood slices everywhere.
I almost started crying.
He was speaking his love language.
Acts of service.
And there he stood, covered in bits of sawdust and pieces of wood and branches and tired and sweaty and exhausted, grinning from ear to ear. I ran into his arms and told him I was sorry for stomping and grumbling and sighing and that I was going to transform one of those wood slices into a pumpkin right now.
And that I loved him.
And all those wood slices said I love you right back. 🙂
DIY Wood Slice Pumpkins
1. Start with a wood slice. I just saw some at Micheal’s if you don’t have a tree fall in your back yard.
2. Paint inside of pumpkin orange with acrylic craft paint.
3. Let dry.
4. Glue a piece of drift wood (or you could use a stick from the yard) to the top of the pumpkin.
5. Cut a leaf out of burlap and glue to the top.
6. Tell your pumpkins how amazing and wonderful and incredible they are….
….because even pumpkins need words of affirmation. 🙂
Love your story of the wood slices and how the pumpkins turned out..... :) When we were stationed in Jacksonville, NC a hurricane named "Bertha" came through that summer. She caused all kinds of damage and made a terrible mess in her path! However, there were some creative souls who took advantage of the mess....when I went to the holiday craft fair several months later they had made wood slice bird houses and at the top there was a little sign that said, "This is the house that Bertha made". I had to have one..... I don't always incorporate it into my fall decor, but it's in the storage bin and I see it every time I'm unpacking the fall decor....it always makes me smile at their creativity, at their ability to turn what was a mess into a treasure! Have a happy weekend, friend! Lanita
You two are so cute! And the pumpkin slices aren't bad either! Have a great weekend!
As they say my dear.....ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!!!! LOVE this BLOG!!!! you Are the BEST, funny, sweet, lovely, talented, young woman EVER!!!!! I really enjoyed seeing those pumpkin slices....now I got to go and find a fallen tree,,,,or cut one down! LOL
I love your blog, I love your creative mind, I love your passion for your family, I love your enthusiasm, I love when it shows up in my mailbox.
Awwwwwww..... that sweet husband of yours.... Our church married couples class did a series.. teaching from that book!! Very interesting ... and True!!! :) ..... those pumpkin slices are "WOW" !!!!!! Beautiful Fall Decor!!!!!
The pumpkins are cute...the story behind the pumpkins is beautiful! ;)
I love this story!! Hits close to home. The pumpkins are so great, too!
Ain't he somethin'? Sometimes you just need to wait...
...and pumpkins or princes will appear!!!
I love the love languages. My husband is also an acts of service guy and I'm a words of affirmation girl. Although, with little ones at home I feel more like an acts of service girl, especially when he cleans the kitchen etc... I adore your cute little pumpkins. What a fun and natural element for the season. Adorbs :) Nancy
Love this love story!
What a lovely story, Karianne...and it really made me think. It was eye-opening for me. Thanks so much for sharing! OH! The pumpkins are really cute, too! Hope you have a lovely weekend, my friend!
Loved this story. Therein lies the marriage challenge.....to love our mate the way that speaks their language, not the way that is easiest for us! Great book. Thanks for the reminder........oh, and the adorable, creative pumpkins! You are amazing!
You don't know what a powerful message you sent out with your words today! If only we could all have the wisdom to see the way people love us and appreciate them. I know there are sooo many times when I love my kids in my love language, not theirs. My husband too. Thanks for the words of heartfelt wisdom today.
Sigh~~~that was beautiful! I find your creativity and writing abilities to be such a joy. Your husband is a gem too!
Miz karianne, you never fail to amaze me. Love your stories. Love your creativity. I love the way you communicate! have a great day, my young friend!
Oh boy, I totally get what you're saying. My hubby and I don't speak the same language either. I will ramble on about all the creative ideas I'm working on and he will just smile and nod and say that's great, you know, kinda like the shoulder shrug you got. I find that I sometimes have to be okay with a simple nod and just walk away, then somehow if I'm lucky he'll take the initiative on his own to do something amazing just for me to show his love in his own way. It may not be the way I wanted or hoped, but it's his way and that's good enough for me. I love the wood slices!
I agree with what Pat said: "I love your blog, I love your creative mind, I love your passion for your family, I love your enthusiasm, I love when it shows up in my mailbox." You. Are. A. Treasure! xoxoxo : )
I did read that book and it's tucked somewhere on my bookcase shelf probably with loads of dust because it's been that long since I read it. Your beautifully written post reminds us that what's important is not that we speak the same love language but that it is heard, felt, and received. Just pray your partner's love language isn't mute!
You are sweet and clever and articulate and kind! With love from a physical touch (me)/acts of service (him) household. If only he would hold my hand!
I will never look a slice of tree in the same way again! You always make me laugh, cry or both.
Such a cute post. We have a tree down in the field behind our house. I'm getting ideas again. Your pumpkins are the cutest and I think the book might just be worth a read too.
Thank you for a wonderful love languages story! My sweet, physical touch husband & I, his sweet, acts of service wife have been mentoring engaged couples at our church for 13 years. Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages is a vital part of the mentoring. Five years ago we also lead our 1st church marriage retreat and presented it to that group. We love how it can change relationships. And your sweet, acts of service husband demonstrated that so beautifully!! I would never be able to walk by those pumpkins without smiling! Are you selling any through Painted Fox? I would love to have some to gift our couples as a sweet reminder!! Blessings!!!
You sweet girl...thank you for showing us that you aren't always perfect, lol..and that your marriage might have bumps too! Love this display of your gifts and love languages...isn't it weird that our love language seems to be the opposite from our spouses??? Definitely makes marriage more work...but more rewarding when we do work at it!
I've always wondered if the book got my love language right - it said acts of service was mine but I love gifts and I love affirmation so I don't know. It did work to get my husband to take the trash out without grumbling so maybe it was right. Lol. Love your pumpkin wood slice. Adorable!
Oh, that tree just keeps on sharing, it's very lucky to have landed on your yard. I love the pumpkin slices... But I just love your story about your man... Priceless, my guy must be his long lost brother, he'd do the same thing. Happy weekend lovely lady x
Thank you for this post...it certainly clarifies many things for me...I've got my copy of Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages" on order now...I feel I need this book! I am a person who shows love mostly through words of affirmation, too...it can be hard when you and your significant other speak different love languages, but as long as you can recognise they are showing love in their own way, I think it helps immensely! Your hubby was such a sweetie to cut all of those wood slices and present them to you like that...if that isn't true love, I don't know what is! And I soooooo LOVE your wood slice pumpkins...they are too adorable! I think this may be a project I can actually handle, so long as I can find all of the stuff I need. Thank you soooo very much for sharing them with us, KariAnne...just like your husband, I am always amazed beyond words at your immense talent and creativity!
That is a very sweet story, beautifully told! Love the wood slice pumpkins you made - the cutest I've seen. When a tree at my sister's house came down this summer, I made a three-tier wood round cupcake stand and my husband got some great stumps for around our fire pit. :) Happy weekend!! Xo, ~julie
I'm amazed that you're not teaching creative writing on the college level ( although maybe you are and I just don't know it). You write with such soul and intimacy that I'm often in happy tears my the time I finish your words. When I was working on my degree in communications I thought I had top shelf professors but I see now how wrong I was. I've rarely read anything so filled with heart and eloquence as what you share with all of us who consider you a friend.
Thank you for the reminder that we all need affirmations, whether in the form of words, or wood slices or....the wood slice pumpkins are charming.
Cool. You are so Cool ! : )
.... and your husband, too ! : )
Such a beautiful metaphoric example of the complexities of relationships. Perfect title, great pacing in the telling of the story and the pumpkins are whimsical and a creative use of all those love-filled slices of wood. Love those books and the one taking the principle to guide parenting of different kids according to their love languages. Loved this post so much. Thank you.
It's funny how we see things one way and our partners don't see it at all. But you sweet loving hubby instictively knew that even tho he did't see what you were talking about - he did what he could to help you achieve your vision. You are a lucky lady to have such a such a loving man who understand you - just in different ways. Another great story KariAnne! After you open your store you need to write a book - about LOVE -- it would be a best seller my friend. Enjoy your weekend with that special fellow of yours. M
Hi. this is what I'm missing in most of the blogs I follow. So many have started to sound like advertising trying too hard. I like most of the blogs I follow but I don't need more advertising in my life. I need real and substance. So thanks for a blog that isn't trying to "dress a pig up in lipstick". It's ok once in a while but it gets old fast. Today's blog made me cry. Awesome job today. Thank you.
Love this. The pumpkins are darling, but I love the story. My husband and I have different love languages. We struggle with this sometimes.
Oh, my goodness, Karianne! You speak to my heart EVERY post! I love Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages and I love how you shared yours with us. You are amazing, my friend! and those pumpkins are amazing, too!!! P.S....I have lumber left from the floor remodel awaiting your touch!!! :) and I will speak many words of affirmation to you after all the amazing things you can do with it!!!
Karianne, I LOVE that you shared this story. I am still in love with my husband after many years. I don't know if I would be had I not read "The Five Love Languages" when we were newlyweds. :) it's nice to hear your stories and to also read that you have moments like that too!!:)
Oh my. Yes I think I might have donated the book---gasp>. But love your easy tutorial. My friend was going to take out a tree. Oh yes I wanted to ask for a few logs or the fatter part to have my hubby cut these priceless treasures of real grown in America wood....but I was timid. She is not one to craft. She thinks my stuff is .....well she'd never reuse trees So I was going to be brave and ask. I'd only just seen her a week earlier. Nope. Trees out. Gone. Guy done in just a couple hours. Sob. Michaels to the rescue???
Love the story and the slices!!! I do not normally use orange in my decorating, but these projects may make me reconsider that!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
This is my favorite ever!!!
Some years ago, our front yard September Maple had to be cut down. Three of my grandchildren and I watched the men top off our tree and proceed to cut its branches. I cried at the loss of this tree's beauty. My husband wanted to keep the large parts of the tree's trunk. I had no idea why. Well, it will be four years this fall that those gorgeous parts of our tree are once again hauled out to our front porch where they set with large pumpkins, pots of yellow mums, corn stalks, and a scarecrow and our grandchildren have their new autumn picture taken for their homes.
You are so funny, here you are creating everyday, with tons of followers, and I can just see you standing there your brain running on fire. Then I see him, priceless follower #1, always, looking at you thinking "how does she do that, wow all that in a fallen tree, guess I better get a move on, this could take awhile, all for decorating, well how about firewood, ever think of that", but no he doesn't say anything he just "DOES". Yep you are loved and blessed, and he is adorable...
I just LOVE love <3 My sweet hubby is also an acts of service love language, and l am a little bit of all 5, l guess l am bi love lingual.....l just made that up, could you tell :)
woow,,, I think that is a really great job :) You are welcome to join SATURDAY SHOW OFF Hugs from Håkan in Sweden
I love this story. The love languages are so good, and a challenge when spouses speak a different language (hubby and I are different). How wise of you to see he was telling you he love you by cutting up the tree for you!
I love love love these! Fantastic! Great story as always. I envy that you have an acts of service guy! Mine is a gift giver but all I ever want him to do is mow the dang lawn! Lol. Cheers!
I really loved this- the project too! I have taken the quick on-line Love Languages quiz, but I really want to read the book, and have my beau read it as well. I believe that it will strengthen our relationship and help us communicate better. You started my morning with a smile. Thanks!