Twenty-five years ago in this bathroom.

Right there on this floor with hot rollers sprayed with an entire can of Aqua Net hairspray and bright red lipstick and liquid black eyeliner and yards and yards and yards of beaded satin with a monogrammed train swirling around in giant poufs….

….my bathroom and I took our last stand.

My lipstick smeared and my eyeliner smudged as defiant tears ran down my face.

It wasn’t pretty.

It wasn’t cute.

It wasn’t even close to a Hallmark movie.

But in that moment I wasn’t budging.

The heels of my pearl-encrusted, recently dyed to perfection off-white pumps were digging in.

And not going anywhere.

We were supposed to be leaving for church.  My mother was rushing around with the veil and a cake server, telling me how late we were going to be and asking why in the world was I wearing such red lipstick.

And all the while she was talking and fluttering about, I stood here in front of this mirror, in this bathroom, on this floor.

Thinking about Dear Abby.

Dear Abby?

Seriously.

I mean, isn’t that what every bride thinks about on her wedding day?

They would if they read the whole column Dear Abby wrote on being extra careful when you get married because your wedding date and time are  published for the world to see in the newspaper and all sorts of unsavory characters could break into your house while you are gone and take 23 place settings of your elegant new china and fancy silver and even the occasional toaster oven.

Can you even imagine?

I loved my new toaster oven…..

….and Dear Abby had me all tied up in knots about it.

Panicked, I rushed from the bathroom and immediately told my mother that we needed to put our dog in the house.  We needed a watchdog during the wedding.  I explained I would feel so much better.  I would enjoy the wedding so much more if I knew that the dog was protecting the china and the silver and the toaster oven.

My mother said no.

What?

No?

Seriously?

Obviously she had never read Dear Abby.

Obviously, she didn’t understand the importance of the situation.

I pled and begged and let a stray tear slip from my eye and stomped my pearl encrusted newly dyed satin heels.

To no avail.

My mother informed me in a very stern voice and in no uncertain terms that the dog would be staying outside.

Even as I type this.

Even as I cringe a little thinking about it.

Even after all these years, I’m not really sure what came over me.

I’m still not sure in my Dear Abby induced state that I thought I was choosing wisely.  That what happened next was the best course of action on any universe.

But whatever the reason, whatever the consequences, I took my monogrammed train and Aqua Net hot rollers and lay down on the floor, hot rollers and all and refused to budge.

Right then and there, with the cold tile pressed against my face, I took my last stand.

*sigh*

My mother wrung her hands and shook her head and sighed and eventually gave in.

We were 20 minutes late to the church.

It was not my finest hour.

I learned something about myself that day.

I learned that my mother was a saint.

I learned that worrying about a toaster oven can make you 20 minutes late for your own wedding.

And I learned that when it comes to brides and weddings never, ever, ever….

….should Dear Abby be required reading. 🙂

PS  These are the pictures of the newly remodeled bathroom with my grandmother’s chandelier and a new shower.

The story was free of charge. 🙂

PPS  Don’t worry.  I’m getting a bathroom rug.  The tile is just as cold as I remembered. 🙂

Comments

  1. Image for Cynthia H Solomon Cynthia H Solomon

    Oh my goodness sakes!! That is a priceless memory!! Your anxiety manifested itself in a 'Dear Abby' moment and found you on the floor! This will be a great story to remember when your children get married!! Happy Silver Wedding Anniversary!!

  2. Image for laura nuss laura nuss

    I think I love you more today than from this summer at Haven. I read the Dear Abby everyday (back when we had papers delivered to our driveway). Sharing a bathroom with four siblings I am not sure I would lay down on the linoleum, but fortunately my mom had the "scatter rugs." wink. Merry Christmas.... laura

  3. Image for Barbie Barbie

    You are absolutely darling, loved your wedding day story, toaster oven and all. PS love you newly redo of your lovely bathroom

  4. Image for Deb Wostmann Deb Wostmann

    Oh my, my, my! Endearing as usual Ms. Karianne. The bathroom is gorgeous, but I had no doubt it would be.

  5. Image for Brenda Brenda

    The bathroom is amazing, The story wonderful!! Thank you for sharing! Now did you "make" yourself the math symbols in the frames, I love them!!

  6. Image for Mari Mari

    I love your style but I am a girl with no imagination of her own! I would love to see the before oictures as well!

  7. Image for Linda Linda

    So the question I have is ....how does your Mother tell this story? You know every story has "the rest of the story" as Paul Harvey says! Somewhere in our 40's or 50's we become reflective. We think about all those growing up memories, the people in our life we have loved and in some cases have lost. Everyone has a story and I am so glad that you are willing to share yours. How wonderful that you can go back and create more memories in the same house. House memories that can last through many more years and generations. Keep those stories coming!

      1. Image for Kris Kris

        And then you have to post it so the "rest of us" can hear "the rest of the story". :) On a different note ... gorgeous bathroom!

  8. Image for Mary Mary

    Only you could write a story with such drama. I'll bet your Hubby to be sighed a sigh of relief when he saw your bright red lipstick arrive, albeit late, at the church. The rest as they say is a Happy History!! You are such a hoot! But you write such good stories!!. And that bathroom is over the moon beautiful. I'm a jealous reader :)

  9. Image for Debbie Debbie

    I love your story and how you are always so willing to share your life. You never fail to bring a smile to my face or a tear to my eyes, sometimes both at the same time. Love you, friend and I love this bath room.

  10. Image for Moriah Moriah

    LOL. You are the best story teller - and the stories you have to tell are also the best! My daughter was married last May at the Chapel at the Air Force Acadeny. After graduation, each wedding party has just 2 hrs to use the chapel all weekend long. My daughter was getting ready off site and only had one eye done when it was time to go. I wasn’t letting anyone rush her for I didn’t want her to have a melt down similar to yours 😉. Unfortunately, the wedding planner and her future MIL who were not handling the delay very well. My daughter was the first bride in 2,500 weddings the wedding planner had done to be late. The preweddding photos were not going to happen. The bows on a few pews didn’t get placed. The snacks for the groomsmen didn’t get there. The limo - with the bride and bridesmaids in it -was obviously going to be late, so getting it clearance to come through the gates of an active military base at unscheduled time was going to be difficiot. But my daughter was calm and that’s all that mattered to me. #nomeltdowns

  11. Image for Cecilia Cecilia

    haha, I am starting to think all brides have a meltdown on their day...my daughter did, I'm pretty sure I did...it's always about silly things too. Thankfully, mothers are saints. The bathroom is beautiful. love the chandelier! And the story? Priceless! hugs, Cecilia

  12. Image for Pam Bezirdjian Pam Bezirdjian

    Thank you for sharing this story of prepping for your wedding day along with the pictures of the redecorated bathroom. You give us such a good visual of what you must have looked like laying on the cold bathroom floor. What a great story writer/teller you are!

  13. Image for Nancy Nancy

    Oh my! We all have our moments right? Mine came 9 months pregnant and involved a deer falling off our roof...but that's for another day. If you wouldn't have had that moment...there would be no story and your stories are the best. The bathroom looks stunning. Love everything about it. I would expect nothing less. Stunning Chandelier? Check. Amazing tile work? Check Beautiful vanity? Check The perfect amount of Christmas decor? Check Math function signs on the wall? Check :) Nancy from Slightly Coastal

  14. Image for SylviaLynn SylviaLynn

    I love the story and the Bathroom! The wall color you said was SW Repose Gray. What trim color did you use...both colors look great!

  15. Image for Tammy Tammy

    Wait... Lisa from The Purple Hydragea has seen your bathroom in person? The same Lisa I do Ten on the 10th with once a month? I’m not sure whether to be more jealous of the fact that she has been to your beautiful bathroom or that she actually knows you! Lol! Seriously, great story and an even more beautiful bathroom!

  16. Image for Cheryl Bridges Cheryl Bridges

    You are a jewel Karianne! Love the story and the memories you share and in the exact room... Priceless! Love the new bathroom too!

  17. Image for Denise Cox Denise Cox

    WOW!! Gorgeous bathroom, Karianne!! And how nice that you have your Grandmother's chandelier. And as usual, a touching story to go with your remodeling project. You're the BOMB!! 😄

  18. Image for Marisa Franca @ All Our Way Marisa Franca @ All Our Way

    I'm sorry! I'm a story person and I completely missed the bathroom. Bathroom? What bathroom? I was too involved with the story!! I know all things worked out. Moms are the best. They know how to control the situation (sometimes). I'll go back and check out the bathroom. :-)

  19. Image for Sherry Sanders Sherry Sanders

    You just make me giggle. Loved the story and could actually visualize the whole thing which made it even funnier. Love the bathroom redo . In fact I love the whole house since it is my era. LOL..

  20. Image for Gina Gina

    Oh, my word! How are you ever, ever going to keep it together when those gorgeous twins stand before THAT mirror on their wedding days??!!!!!

  21. Image for june june

    Gorgeous bathroom... reminds me of the old Victorian home I grew up in...oh to have those beautiful marble countertops too. Happy Anniversary! We were married 30 years yesterday❤️

  22. Image for Nancy Nancy

    Haha! Loved your story and the bathroom. But really had to smile at the pictures of the math symbols. It reminded me of the last Chapel Market, i was helping my friend Sue at her booth, The Blue Building and Denton came by. We had a small basket of old computer keyboard keys. He had us all digging thru it for symbols cause he needed to write something in code! There were big cheers every time we found the right symbol!!! Then he came back later in the day cause he needed to do some more ‘coding’! He’s a sweetheart!!!

  23. Image for Michelle Michelle

    Soooo many memories must be flooding in as each loved room gets it's grownup Karianne Thistlewood makeover. I just can't even imagine. The bathroom is beautiful, especially with your bejeweled with your grandmother's chandelier. I can't help but wonder what she would think about that lol. Still not seeing you in my inbox...

  24. Image for Donna Marie Donna Marie

    I tell my granddaughter-to-be that every wedding has to have a guffaw, but 20 minutes late to the wedding!!! You made everyone worry. Lol

  25. Image for Louise Adkins Louise Adkins

    Ummm...math symbols in the bathroom? Either someone is a math major or what I first thought...Are those symbols from a pregnancy tester? hahaha

  26. Image for Colleen@LilacDriveDesigns Colleen@LilacDriveDesigns

    Looks great! I don't remember what it looked like before but I love that you kept the tile counter tops...it makes me feel better about all the white tile counter tops in my house. I hate mine and would love to get rid of them...

  27. Image for Sharon H Sharon H

    Awww, Miz karianne....I bet he would've another 20 or 30 minutes for you! Love the bathroom, and so glad you kept the integrity of it while glamming it up a little. Very nice, little one.

  28. Image for Toni Toni

    Sooo funny! Hey, the one that really won that day was the DOG! 😊 Thanks for sharing another classic moment in the Life of Karianne! Love it.....and the bathroom!

  29. Image for Stephanie Stephanie

    Love it!!!!!! We had no air that day of my wedding. Hot rollers added to the heat misery haha all left me so had to run down the street to church, yep still hottest and most humid May 16 on record, yep no doubt we are sisters haha Miss you.

  30. Image for Tracey Tracey

    I love your story and your bathroom. I "need" the math symbols on the wall. My husband is a math teacher. Love your new house and your beautiful bathroom.

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