It’s Only a Phase

There are days I think I am in the running for the “Mom of the Year.”

I am quite impressed with myself sometimes.

So much so that on really good days I imagine….                                             

….as I leisurely stroll through the aisles of Wal-mart dressed to the nines,

with my obedient,

well-behaved,

neat-as-a-pin children skipping and (of course) holding hands behind me….

….I imagine that I’m going to be spotted by staffers from the Dr. Phil show.

You see, those Dr. Phil staffers are trained….trained to spot pure motherly goodness at its best.

And they will quickly and with great fanfare whisk me away to Chicago….or New York….or Las Vegas or wherever they film the Dr. Phil show.

And upon determining my general fabulous skill-set as a mother….

….immediately ask me to come up on stage to recieve my trophy.

All of the world’s eyes on me.

Mom of the Year.

And as I stand there…..hands outstretched…..ready to recieve all the praise and adulation that comes with my new title…..

…..someone will stand up in the audience waving this….

….and my dreams of glory and a starring role on the remake of “The Waltons” will come to a screeching halt.

Security team?

Walkie talkies and sunglasses and notebooks filled with top secret information?

Really?

What was it my blonde-haired, blue-eyed, smocked-dress wearing, tea-cup holding twins that brought upon this?

Too many late night episodes of Charlie’s Angels on TV Land?

Too much Sonny with a Chance?

I’m so sorry Dr. Phil and crew….

….please keep my Mom of the Year Trophy shined and ready….

….I’m sure this is only a phase.