Practicing My Lines

Practicing My Lines

 

peonies in bloom

It was a Mother’s Day of epic proportions.

I got coffee and a People magazine with a picture of Prince Harry on the front cover.

And fancy earrings that sparkled when I laughed.

People cleaned their rooms and smiled at me all day and mowed the lawn and went to the grocery store without complaining and helped me pick out Gatorades and wrote me notes that said things like “thank you for giving me pep talks every single day and thanks for decorating the room I’m currently sitting in” and “thanks for Taylor Swift car concert sessions and giving me ‘just because’ hugs.”

And the peonies bloomed.

peonies

It was a day so amazing that I decided why stop there?

Mothers don’t just need a day.

We need a week.

A week of coffee and sparkly earrings and Prince Harry articles and peonies on our dining room table.

So to kick off Mother’s Day week, I’m retelling one of my favorite mom stories.

It’s worth a repeat. 🙂

garden arrangement

A long time ago in a land far away I wrote a post about painting a piece of wood furniture.

At the time, I had no idea painting wood was controversial.

I think it started with a piece of furniture I found in a junk store and after reading the comments, it ended with several disclaimers about the terrible condition of the wood and ended with an apology to my ancestors for painting over history.

And then to try and lighten the mood and be funny and hip and with it and generally of this century, I concluded the post with….

….and don’t be a hater.

dining room garden centerpiece

 When my teenage son read the post he rolled his eyes in disbelief.

“I don’t think you should say, ‘Don’t be a hater,’ Mom” he stated emphatically.

“Really?” I responded.  “Why not?  I really think it has a certain ring to it.”

“Because seriously Mom, no one your age says stuff like that.  I mean…..if you are over the age of 40 and you don’t star on a television show….”

And then he trailed off into awkward silence as he stared at me.

Thinking.

Thinking about the wisdom of continuing with this train of thought.

And then he squared his shoulders, braced himself and with “go big or go home” written all over his face…..

…..he continued.

garden centerpiece

“It’s kind of not a thing.  Moms don’t say stuff like that.  I just think you shouldn’t really be saying ‘Don’t be a hater’ if you are over the age of 40 and you don’t star on a television show….” and taking a deep breath he paused and blurted out…

“….and I’m even a little sketchy about the late 30’s.”

Seriously?

Phrases have an age restriction now?

garden flowers

What’s a mom to say then?

I really wanted to know.  I need to practice my lines for future posts.

What should I say to someone who might be so quick to dismiss my newly painted juntique piece of furniture?

What’s the proper turn of phrase for an over-forty non-movie star mom?

peonies in bloom

And so I asked my son.

“Well….” he said furrowing his brow in deep contemplation. 

And then a light bulb went off. 

Smiling, he turned to me with a grin.  “I know.  I got it.  Instead of the whole hater thing, why don’t you say “Don’t be…..

…..a wet dishrag.’

Oh.  I see.

The old cool, hip, super-current dishrag line.

Why didn’t I think of that? 🙂

hydrangea getting ready to bloom

PS  Here’s a baby Hydrangea I found yesterday.

Maybe I should practice my lines on it. 🙂

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Comments

  1. I love that story. I’m happy you had a nice mother’s day…mine was great too. A week sounds good to me.

    Nancy

  2. Oh my word, I need to practice my lines too. Cute story.

  3. A cute story with blooming peonies and a wet dishrag- who can beat that?!!:):)

  4. Oh my love peonies and how their timing is usually perfect for Mother’s Day! Reminded me of a memory I need to write down so bless you bunches! Peonies and mason jars are always my favorites to decorate tables like for teacher appreciation week. That brings back memories on both sides of the teacher’s desk… as a teacher and as a parent. Gal you are inspiring me to write.. heavens know I needed it! The Diet Dr. Pepper (I know evil brew! haha) certainly had not done it yet. Bless you for writing and making me want to do the same on this dreary day after a marvelous Mother’s Day. Hope week is kind to you.

  5. Yvonne Shafer :

    Good morning! I guess what’s old is new again! Love your story!

  6. I often get eye rolls over some of my “phrases” too. I just laugh. As for you, well, you are a rock star so… Love your flowers on the table. Our peonies are in bloom too but I think we need more flowers, less lettuce!!

  7. Valarie Sanford :

    Bahhahahahaha!

  8. Leslie Watkins :

    Oh!!! We “ad-lib” a lot around here…maybe you should just look him straight in the eye and say, “don’t be hatin'”. Loved this post!! And have found an AMAZINGLY huge juntique store for us to visit! Got two new twin headboards for $7.50 each on our way through that sweet town yesterday. And can’t wait to paint them. They need a facelift!! Hahahaha

  9. That story made me snort. I remember my son in his younger days that I should not consider myself funny. Now he was funny but mothers, well, they are just not funny Moooooooom! Thanks for the giggle

  10. Rebecca Turner :

    Chuckles! Oh, but that sounds about as old-fashioned as the limp dish rag, doesn’t it? Why doesn’t anyone use that word anymore? I suppose I should look for an appropriate emoji, huh? (Insert winking eye with tongue hanging out.) With four children, you certainly deserved a nice Mother’s Day. Glad it was!

  11. Barbara Moore :

    If only I was as smart now as I was when I was a teenager.. ! I’d be as groovy as a dishrag. Have a far out day!
    B

  12. Michelle Rudis :

    Happy Belated Mom’s Day, Karianne! I’m glad you had a good one and I agree we moms deserve a week, not just a day. I got the biggest kick out of this post because I can soooooo relate. The young people I work with think it’s cute when I use their lingo. My kids…not so much. Maybe it’s because my ‘kids’ are fast approaching middle age. I don’t get offered ‘suggestions,’ however. I just get eye rolls, stern looks and things like, “Mom…don’t say that anymore.” Well what they don’t know is sometimes I do it just to get a rise out of them — hahaha. Fun stuff for moms!

  13. That sounds like one of my grown daughters when they found out I was a blogger and on social media! Our children always see us in a different light! I wonder whats ok to say as a 50 something! A grandma to boot! Lovely story, I enjoyed your sharing.

  14. Rowena Philbeck :

    That is so cute!! Yes,,,guess it is a gender thing. I have said things like that and my daughter-in-law laughs and said I can’t believe you just said that!! What….Why??? Crazy for sure..Love the dishrag comment!! Hope you had a Wonderful Mother’s Day!! I did..it was great. Went out to eat a lot and got a gift of an hour massage from my son.

    Rowena

  15. Yes we do have a lot to learn from our kids. I’m still trying to learn. I certainly don’t want to be an uncool mom or nonna– heaven forbid I’m as dated as my furniture 🙁 So I am grateful to you and your kids for setting us straight on terminology. Please keep us updated — we non-movie moms want to be super cool. You rock — Oh!! Is that okay to say??

    • Oh Marisa….you surely hit close to home when you said “as dated as my furniture”………. Sounds all too familiar. I gotta get with it… LOL…… Happy Mother’s Day Week… Susie from The Chelsea Project

  16. Looks like I need to practice my lines, too. LOL… Wish I didn’t…..it’d be nice to have “Don’t be a hater” pass these lips and not sound like they were wrongly transplanted there by a young, hip surgical team. Oh. Well. His day will come…and his kids will shore up this day (comment) with comments of their own. Then he will understand…..or at least I hope so….because I have a son, too….telling me …the exact same thing. 🙁 LOL… Happy Mother’s Day Week…. Hope it’s a great one. XO Susie from The Chelsea Project

  17. Hold on…..your kids cleaned their rooms? To be nice for Mothers Day? And didn’t complain?
    Mother’s Day should be a week. 🙂

  18. Instead of “don’t be a hater” just say… “thank you for your thought” and that goes for your son too. 😉 I have a 20 year old who helps me be “hip and cool” by telling me not saying things that someone “hip and cool” would say. And when he does that, I say “thank you for your thought” and say whatever I wanted to anyway.

  19. As I commented yesterday KariAnne (got your name spelled right today) Yea!! I got a book with all the things I said out of style” when I was overage… it was good reading.for later family sessions of “Can you believe she said THAT?”. But those are the memories….just takes a teenager to let you know what to say at over age! Jere

  20. Why use the word hate at all? I do not understand. Am I to be envious?

  21. Good morning KariAnne,
    The conversation you had with your son was just too precious! I loved it…
    My kids have “taught” me a few new phrases that we probably use more than we should…
    “Mom, you look great in that ‘Spanky’ red sweater!” and ‘Sweet’…. that’s used for everything
    from “we’re going to Paducah this weekend” to “I found something for you today at the thrift shop…”
    They’ll forever keep us young, won’t they?
    It sounds like you had a wonderful Mother’s Day… me too!
    Blessings, Jeanne

  22. A fun story – Mother’s Day/Week…I’m in. Last night Mr. Doodle said it best…”You know, I think this was the best Mother’s Day ever.” 🙂

  23. Bonnie Schulte :

    cute,cute,cute…

  24. LOL!!! Oh that was hilarious! Well I got onefor ya…I had the same thing last week. I had just finished putting my heart and soul into a painted piece, when in walks my 23 yr. old son. I was sitting back…admiring it so fondly…feeling absolutely content and thrilled with how it turned out. Marty, our son, turns and looks at me and says, “Mom! That’s SICK!” I think I spent the next minute literally choking on my coffee until he turned to look at me and say, “Mom…that means it’s freaking awesome!” LOL! Kids… I glad you had a wonderful Mother’s Day:)

  25. Happy Mother’s Day,
    you super hip Mom!!

  26. Hilarious………..they will let you know when it’s not cool! I love it and we have all been there…………….thanks for sharing your story!

  27. Wait until your children are old enough to not know, notice or care which phrases are dated so everything you say will sound fine – just saying.
    Oh yes, you will need to wait 40 years for that.

  28. I thought the fun part of being a parent was to say things that are embarrassing. My threat to encourage good behavior is “You’d better do XYZ or I’ll publicly embarrass you.” 😉

  29. My older bother and I had a conversation about getting older and how we’re no longer cool…pretty sure we were never cool anyway, but oh well. I say, do what you want, kids will laugh at us no matter what 😉

  30. OMG, I think you are “the cat’s meow!” Or is that “the cat’s pajamas?” I love your blog! You have the most wonderful style of writing and so often you make me laugh out loud! Thank you for bring joy, beautiful decor ideas and linguistics into my dishraggy life!

  31. O, does that remind me of something I said to my dear wonderful Mom many years ago. If she was still here I would say to her (and to you and all the other Moms) just let it rip and say whatever you like. All kids should have their horizons expanded a bit…..it will prepare them for the real world…..whatever that means. 🙂

  32. Loved your post today. Just yesterday I emailed my son who lives across the country from us here in Canada, thanking him for the lovely flowers he sent me for Mother’s Day. I also sent him a pic of the new Keith Urban CD I just bought, told him he should get it … his reply was “Mom, no one buys CD’s any more. You download it. I can’t even play a CD in my truck.” Well, excuse me …. lol. I still love my new CD 🙂

  33. So cute! I laughed and laughed. I got a similar talking to one time when my teenage son overheard me in the kitchen singing the lyrics to a song off of a cd he played in the car to and from school. He actually came in the kitchen and asked me what are you singing? How do you know that song? I told him, you make me listen too it all the time. He said mom, don’t sing that. Apparently there is a age limit on music too. I’m sure thankful for my family and also had a wonderful Mother’s Day, although no one cleaned their rooms.

  34. Ok I read that you had coffee with Prince Harry and my first thought was what no bloody way then the light bulb went on and I thought that makes more sense you silly girl Jo-Anne

  35. This story had me laughing all over again…especially when we get to the part of the story when your son boldly announces, “…and I’m even a little sketchy about the late ’30s…” haha…that seriously cracks me up…I can just imagine him saying this with genuine concern in his voice…can’t you see he was just trying to save you, Mom? hehe! I’m so glad you had such a wonderful Mother’s Day, KariAnne…but then, it would be difficult not to have the best Mother’s Day when you have the best kiddos who know they’ve got the best Mom in the world! I’m glad they made you feel as special as you are!

  36. Miz karianne, I just want to know……after he reads this post…..will he roll his eyes at you and say, seriously? You wrote about that? TODAY.??
    Lol, happy belated Mother’s Day little one

  37. baby hydrangeas!! now we’re talkin’! those are just the bees knees!

  38. He’s a smarty – you better watch out for him:))

    Aren’t kid stories just the best? Loved this one!

    sheila
    http://www.maisondecinq.blogspot.com

  39. I will admit I am of a “more mature” lady but my Grand Daughter told me I was too old to say awesome. We were driving in the car with my daughter and one of her other girls. I made a statement that something was just awesome and my youngest Grand Daughter just gave a few heavy sighs and then said Mam ma don’t be saying awesome you are too old to say that.
    Where do they get their ideas? ??

  40. It sounds like you had a very nice Mother’s Day! I too, had a great day. My 6 year old grandson said at dinner “I wish Mother’s Day was every day” to which my daughter (his mom) and I both replied in unison, “Everyday should be Mother’s Day!” So us mothers (there are 3 of us who live here) are going to try to make the day last as long as we can. So Happy Mother’s Day, day 3!

  41. You are a genius with great talents in the writing style of which you ‘ve been blessed with!
    Wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day Week!!!
    🙂

  42. Thank you for spreading JOY!

  43. Big LOL! Nothing worse than a wet dishrag, ha ha.

  44. I am new to the blog-this is actually my first one from you. I must say I am loving it already. Your pictures are absolutely beautiful. Your story is hilarious! Thank you for sharing and making my day happier with laughter.